Elaboration of my comments

The destination is to have the healthy, honest relationships with who we want, how we want, whether it be one person or one hundred.

It is true that my personal ideals are that everyone has the kind of relationship forms they need with ‘who’ they want, rather than picking a pre-defined form and running with that.

If these statements seem oppositional you have to look at the big picture, in the first I am referring to the plain and unalterable fact that although Polyamory may mean we live more honestly in our relationships and perhaps even benefit from the personal growth that might come from negotiating more than one intimate relationship, happiness and fulfilment is not a given and as with Monogamy, a relationship will not make you feel whole when you are broken.  

Also, we have been socialised in a Monogamous and serial Monogamous culture that has left its legacy on our generation, the monogamist paradigm comes with preconceived notions and expectations of how we conduct intimate relationships and we have lost valuable communication skills from our cooperative ancestors, skills of negotiation and non possessiveness.   Polyamorists may have gained relationship  freedom but also gained the stress of re-learning these skills with very little or no, guidance, no wonder so many people give up, claim Poly does not work or Poly is too stressful.  It IS hard, it IS stressful and most people are fundamentally unprepared for the mindset change they need to make to have s successful Poly relationship, they believe they can carry on pretty much as they were with hardly any adjustment necessary.  This is especially true in the Sisterwife Poly seeking world where people fall back on the obvious and practical "I know I will have to get used to sleeping alone half the time" or "It would be weird having to share my kitchen, perhaps when we can afford it we can build a new kitchen/.house/whatever".

You can't just attached your Mono paradigm to your Poly relationship and just expanding things by one or two. The Poly. mindset isn't about what goes on in your relationship or in your house, it is what goes on in your head.

So, in my eyes no matter how many partners we choose to have, these re-learnt skills should be the standard for all intimate relationships.

The second comment was in response to a Poly person who was explaining why he felt a triad (very specifically FMF) was right for him.  I have seen the same sort of specifications in Poly seekers also, the ads will specify that they only want one more person to "complete them" there is one young man out there proclaiming his four wife “family plan”. (I kid you not). This is the main mistake of the ego-centric. The fantasist, who doesn’t necessary see people, but sees functions to feed the fantasy.  Picking a structure and then finding people to fill that role, is not the best way to create happy healthy relationships, it definitely fosters more of a ‘they’ll do’ system than meeting someone you love and care for and then adapting to suit. 

Anything else just feels like collecting women.