The letter from hell.......

 *breathe*

I find it rather shocking that even after SO many years I can still be triggered at the idea of a heavy letter.

Some poor stranger had to be on the tail end of my displeasure at learning she was coming out as poly via a 'well ordered and considered letter'  and my triggered AF mind thought 'You BITCH!'

Because the letter from hell was J's primary form of uncomfortable communication, whenever one of her large byte emails came through the system my heart would sink, my palms got sweaty and I would feel awful because they were, to me, a selfish unburdening of all her emotional crisis in letter form, it was like having that friend who is an emotional vampire draining you of all of your energy by unburdening themselves of all of their miseries and recriminations.  For 'What we do in the Shadows" fans, it was Colin Robinson's girlfriend, (Vanessa Bayer's) type of vampirism.  

I hate that I have some residual negative feelings over this, I hate that I had to delete a whole paragraph of bitter truth because what is that saying about me and my emotional growth?  Finding a mean letter from an ex is always going to be painful, a week, year or a decade after they popped it in the post or pressed send, not because you are not blessedly relieved to be away from that person/people but because it reminds you of how you wasted precious years on a person/people who did not respect you as much as they loved the idea of you, as long as you were content to be their toy.