Alan's latest post in Poly in the News was very interesting, in it he is looking at the coverage of the spectrum of the Polyamory community, the spectrum being from the end closest to Monogamy (monogamish) to relationship anarchy. It is a great post so read it if you can.
Regarding Monogamish in particular, I remember questioning somewhere whether it is ever .really ethical to impose a restriction upon someone else's freedom to relate, with monogamish, like swinging, nothing is allowed to get in the way of the exclusive primacy of the Primary relationship, that means one possibly needs to restrict their own emotional response to another person, falling in love is a no-no.
Recently I was talking to Shebo about my feeling that I don't think I would find that acceptable, I mean, not only would I feel used but I could not do it either, because I would feel that I am using someone. How can you love freely and also restrict?
OTOH
With relationship anarchy can you love freely if you don't feel secure? I mean, you may feel happy to have all this love around you but will any of these people be around to share child raising with you or care for you when you are sick?
So it seems whilst some people eschew the term Polyamory, for either being too radical or too restrictive, others, especially those of us who wish to take the seriously radical step of having equilateral multiple relationships, which takes us out of the dyadic paradigm and removes many privileges. So are all of us who are radical enough to take that step, inpatient and intolerant of those who can't avoid the trappings of male, couple or heterosexual privilege in their lives?
Is the intolerance warranted?
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