Once upon a time I wanted to act....oooh how I loved the stage but after I had my daughter the idea of being away from her for weeks on end to tread the boards seemed unthinkable, I had to face it, that sort of career was not going to allow me the home life I wanted, I set out to look for something a little more stable.
Fast forward 15 years and my younger sister has followed a similar course, now with a toddler she is setting out to get a Masters Degree and make s stable life for her child. I am proud of her and I know that, like me, she has no regrets, our children are worth that sacrifice.
Sometimes you just can't have it all, but we live in a world where lots of adults are stuck in a suspended adolescence of 'I want, I must have' whether it is feasibly possible or not.
For example, I asked a seeking couple that considering the husbands current career path (active military) and the wife's future plans to enter into the military, how do they feel polygamy will fit into their plans?
Of course, I did not receive an answer and I suppose it is just because they simply do not have one. I have seen other military seekers also.
Now, I am well aware that some military personnel do not move around the country or the world, but when you are in the military you need to be prepared to, the military pretty much own, not just you but also your family and by family I mean, legal family, what do these seekers expect to be able to do? Ask if "both of my two wives come to Japan, UK or Germany please"?
Your career means you have to sacrifice and especially if your career path entitles you to special specific benefits that are only able to be collected if you are legally wed, this is incompatible to Polygamy because a second wife could be substantially disadvantaged in the case of the military or indeed any sort of career path in which your private life is not entirely private.
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Very true. While we cannot acurrately predict all of life's variables, it is important to model what we can and try to understand some of the consequences of our choices. In regards to the military, especially when the current involvement in Afghanistan and other places is considered, I think you must also face the hard possibilities of death or physical or mental disability, as well as the intrusive nature of being "owned" by the government.
ReplyDeleteOh yes, I am pretty sure people try to avoid thinking about death and disability, but you know there is the privilege of knowing you and your children would be taken care of in that event, a second partner/wife would have no such protection and is really not at liberty to enter into such an unstable arrangement.
ReplyDeletePeople often do not think any further than the end of their noses. You know I know of a homeless family who were seeking too. They were living on a relatives floor...I mean, come ON!!!