Many people will be aware of my changing ideas about marriage within the Poly community. From not even thinking that it would matter, to desperately wanting to be married myself because I felt so insecure being the 'Unmarried one' to accepting the idea of none of us being married (and let's face it, what more a symbol of commitment could your partners give you than give up their legal marriage for you) to giving up entirely. I have come to accept the feeling of social inequality in our relationship as the nature of the beast, I no longer yearn for any sort of marriage; legal or otherwise, my viewpoint now being, it is, what it is and I leave it at that. I am still not happy about it but I don't spend much time dwelling upon it. Still, I do question why Poly people get married, I feel, from the full knowledge as an unmarried partner to married people how much pain and insecurity it causes, why do it? It is like stealing happiness from your future (or at least, your future relationships)?
I thought my personal ambivalence and resentment was very rare in the Polyamory community but I was very pleased to find Angi's Post on Modern Poly titled Love... and Marriage?, Angi, though legally married herself, voices the exact same views I have on the issue of Marriage and Polyamory, only more eloquently.
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