I was very encouraged today by some discussion about Poly family situations on the UK boards. In general I have noticed a lot less desire amongst the Brits towards moving away from the dyadic norms of family life. There might be a little more RA and a LOT more hierarchy amongst the Brits then the Americans. I wonder why this might be?
One of the reasons I think more Americans consider it is because a lot more people have probably experienced house sharing in adult life. They are more likely to have lodgers, tenants and roommates even if married. In the UK, the trajectory is often more likely to be: Parents - University- Partner/s - (sometimes back to parents) - Spouse.
Or
Parents - (hostel) - Own home.
I myself went from Parent - College share - hostel (3wks)- Own home. My experience with sharing lasted a grand total of eight months. It was a bit of a disaster and I hated it, I had one drug user, one raver (loud music at 3am) and a girl named Samantha from Wolverhampton, who was....well it is a long story.
The drug user set fire to the place over the Spring holidays, hence the hostel. The eight months left me with a terrible scald on my forearm, a lot of burned out possessions and a deep distrust of Private Landlords. You can forgive me then, for totally turning off the idea of communes as an ideal form of home life forever....I went conventional for a few years, but we all know how that turned out.
Britons are used to their own space, our homes may be small but they are ours and we often consider housesharing to be only something students need to do, even our large expensive homes rarely have more than three or four bedrooms and our families tend to be small, we are the consumers of the great sofabed, because rarely have we a spare bedroom for our guests, or maybe we will displace a child but......depends on their age because....not every grandma can fit into that Thomas the Tank Engine bed.
So besides our parental home, it is has not been all that common in the past for grown adults to share space (on a long term basis) with those who they are not getting naked with. Of course all this is changing now, Millennials have had less opportunities to get onto the property ladder or qualify for social housing that my generation has had and therefore, they have had to adapt to a new norm of house sharing or living with parents a lot later than we have had to. They might, therefore, be more inclined to consider Poly families, sharing space, Mortgages and childcare with those who might also be lovers and committed partners.
I am happy to see this dialogue opening up because as a person committed to Poly families, the lack of UK Polys who would consider it is quite depressing.
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