Well we all watched it together last night and as it was only 10pm when it finished we spent the subsequent two hours talking about the issues that came out of it, I think it inspired a blog post or two, both for here and for Apolyglot.
Something that came up was the competition between the women, which is old hat of course but what was interesting for myself was Barb still maintaining her open/legal wife privilege after the revelation. Nicki was annoyed enough about it to comment, but notice she did not want to bother to do the work herself (she passed that onto Margene) but she just didn't want Barb to have that power to make that decision.
This has made me ponder how 'The closet' reinforces (thanks Shebo) couple privilege and how I think it is detrimental to poly families, more on that, later!
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We deal with this issue as a semi closeted poly family. I feel it the most I think, but TB I know isn't oblivious to it. She usually feels bad about it which is good for me. She isn't a power hungry "primary" who sets up rules and boundaries. Super lucky that way.
ReplyDeleteBut it is very very difficult when being introduced to people as the "roommate" or "friend" and ML and I have to keep distance between us because we are like two magnets and flashing neon signs. We don't hide our love for each other very well.
But there have been times where TB has been upset because we were being introduced to someone and ML chose to stand by me and she said, "You are my husband. You should have been standing by my side." And I had to tell her that that was hurtful to me b/c he is my partner too. She didn't even realize and a lot of it has to do with living in the closet...
can't wait to watch Big Love. The fam damily has to take our son to the doctor today (he has several medical issues) and I'm staying home for some free me time and I plan on catching up on some TV...*fist pump*.
Hi DW,
ReplyDeleteI am sorry to hear that, I really don't want to come across as smug and sanctimonious when I say that I couldn't possibly live that way, I am just saying that I couldn't. The longer I live this life, the more I think a closeted romantic life is probably not the best way to live and takes a great deal of work to and pretty exceptional people to live it. This has given me much to think about, sorry for being such a downer.
x
You aren't a downer. I hate it too. It is incredibly difficult. Thankfully we live in a very liberal city so it helps with worries about legal ramifications and such.
ReplyDeleteML just has a very good job that is with a high profile national company so in order for us to continue to live comfortably, we have to be on the hush hush.
Plus I haven't come out to my family yet.
It doesn't keep us down though...so don't you be sad for us or what not. It has it's challenges but what in life doesn't? If it weren't that it would be something else. So party on Wayne. It's all good in our hood.
Hi DW,
ReplyDeleteI am glad it is not so taxing and you feel the partial closeting works for you, I just find the idea of that level of secrecy highly stressful.
x