I don't know what is going on really, I have this strange two sided existence of being relaxed and generally happy and busy and starkly miserable. I try to keep my spirits up and have happy things to talk about but then things seem to fall apart when facing the terrible situation I have got myself into. I feel emotionally battered every time I call my daughter and she hangs up on me and I am SO very angry over the situation, I exist in rage, I constantly question the choices I have made and whether they were not just smart but whether it was sane?????
I sit here alone again, I wonder how someone who presumably has a large family can end up spending every night alone. *sigh* This is SO not what I wanted.
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