Possession

I was just on the phone and I remarked on the possessive nature of marriage; My wife, My husband,

But of course, one  uses of possessive terminology in relationships anyway; My girlfriend/lover/partner etc.

So is it just descriptive?  Or do using these terms allow a possessive mindset to creep into our relationship values and is that incompatible to a relationship anarchy pov?

A by-product of trying to make new friends recently is a great deal of talking about Poly issues, it has been fantastic in solidifying my ideology and also, working towards a more personal and enlightened Poly identity. 
So, I  have found myself picking up more on subtle possessive words than I use to.  I have started to find 'Looking for our sisterwife' almost as irritating as 'Looking for a bisexual sisterwife'...........

(I realise that as well as being non-possessive myself I need to be more tolerant in general but....) 

'Our'

Such a small common word but loaded with significance. Possession, belonging, yours, mine....
The assumption by using that term not in reference to a particular person, but a person unknown is: There is someone out there who belongs to us, we just have to find her!

Which is pretty ghastly when you think about it.  There is no apparent indication that relationships are not about 'finding' they are about 'maintaining' hard work, commitment and communication..  All this bloomin attainment culture in the seeking community is doing my head in.