Distractions

I love to day dream, I do, I have my frequent lottery day dream and I spend more time than I care to admit encouraging that stupid fantasy by looking at House plans!  Fairly non consumerist by nature I have one single consumerist weakness, albeit an expensive one.  Real Estate!  I love houses, I love the idea of living in a home which is just how I want it, from the bricks up.  So, I look at house plans mostly, though I also look at ready built homes ready made for large (and let's face it, Polygamous) families by my friendly neighbourhood (give or take 4800 miles) Salt Lake Realtor's!

Pre- Poly days I used to look at Historical Houseplans but post Poly it has been mostly homes with multiple living spaces.  I certainly realise,that I need more space for myself even more so since I came here to decorate the flat, how much I love indulging my own sense of style (or lack of, according to some!!) you won't believe the pure  unadulterated joy I got yesterday after painting over the pink hallway that Mr. B painted for me (it wasn't his fault, he was doing me a favour but pink just is not me) once all that pink was gone I was stunned at how happy I felt, possibly the first truly happy day in a long time, even though it was a normal day for me to be hanged up on by my daughter. 

Decorating just the way I want it is a wonderful distraction just as daydreaming about houses, going out can be a distraction too.  When your life is fairly pants in general or even if your life is going quite well but you are not fulfilled, you need distractions to keep you from spending your time moping about what makes you miserable.  Can some people use Poly as a distraction though, damn right they can.

Recently I came across a lady who I will call Sally, who is married and looking for a sisterwife, I am not too sure where she has been looking before because she certainly comes across as a bit unaware  of how the Cyber Poly scene works and that is fine and she appears to be genuine so far so good.  Then she talks about how lonely she is and how she needs a friend,  she is depressed and her husband is sexually frustrated.....oh boy, she is falling into the 'Polygamy will fulfil all our needs' delusion, she needs a friend, she needs help, her husband needs a lover. etc etc, Not at any time did she imagine what another woman may need and whether these needs may or may not completely fulfil her (Sally's) own.  I tried to tell her that she needs to become happy and fulfilled within before she even thinks about opening her marriage but that was completely ignored.  Sally is too invested in Polygamy as distraction, in quick succession she posted several messages about marriage, courting and living spaces all with intricate and detailed plans on what she wants, proving more than anything that Poly has become a fantasy  to her that will fix everything and make her happy.  She has also admitted to posting lots of messages to single women on the board,  oh dear I do feel for those women but mostly, I feel for Sally and her desperation.