"I speak as I find"

Is a by-phrase in this country often uttered by people who have, or will insult someone else without impunity just because they feel like it!  I hope I am not often guilty of that, when I say things negative it is often because of a particular reason.  So, I was a bit hacked off to be called out over making people aware of an FIP. Apparently it was rude and unsupportive, well, you know what I believe  it's rude and unsupportive not making people aware of fakes, frauds and FIPs in their midst. 

One of the problems I have with the soft and sensitive types is that sometimes they unwittingly let evil in by their dislike of condemnation.  I think people in general like to think the best of people and they are far too accepting of lies covered up by thinly veiled other lies.

And you know, I think there is a lot of desire to read about a functional, happy, somewhat idealised Poly relationship  because so many people are either intrigued about it or want it in their lives.  I think accepting that one is not real is probably too upsetting for some.


Buuuuuut some people just simply do not know, and they should be warned before anyone puts any faith in their experience.  If I want fiction I watch 'Big Love' or read 'The Lonely Polygamist' when I want reality, you should be able to find it on the blogs, it may not be the whole truth (since it takes two to tango and 3+ to be Poly, there are many sides to a story) but it is someone's reality.  Until you find out it is a lie.

When I see so many online friends and genuine seekers (whatever problems I have with seeking, no one deserves an encounter with an FIP) have had with them it makes me angry, I can count five online friends off the top of my head who were toyed with by one of these pathetic attention seekers, they were so very hurt and felt humiliated that they were suckered in and it just sticks in my craw.

I care about my online friends but even more than that, I care about the integrity of the Poly community, when thirty something men are taking teenage girls as second wives and getting them pregnant quickly so they are bound together , I challenge that, when spouses browbeat their partners into Poly,  I call them out, when couple seekers make huge demands and instant commitment from potentials, I point it out and when someone is advertising an FIP as a valid success story, I warn people.

It may not make me popular but I would rather be honest and protect the vulnerable and/or clueless than be everyone's BFF.