What family will accept is limited...deal with it.

Today my sister came to pick up Deniece's presents including the stuff I hastily picked up on Friday afternoon, somewhere between waiting for parcels to arrive and 'The Real Housewives....' (don't laugh, addiction to trash TV is a tragic thing) I said 'Do you want to see what we got'? I asked her walking towards the trio of cute 12-18 month girlish goodies.  'What do you mean, we, you mean you' my sister said with emphasis.
'Well it is from the Smith's also' I said.  'No it isn't it is you, your presents' my sister replied and then went on to coo in delight at the pretty stuff.  I dropped the issue, because it wasn't worth it.

After she went I was resentful but suffering from a sense of Fridge Logic that I could not challenge her further.  After all, I brought the clothes, I wasn't asked nor did I discuss what I would buy  (nor would I expect to necessarily be involved with the buying of presents for certain members of their extended family either) nor were any well wishes sent directly to my sister or indirectly through me.  Not only that but they are conspicuous in their physical absence from my life at the moment when I need a lot of emotional support that my sister is aware of and it vexes her, she is already worried about how I will cope when she goes abroad for the winter.

So,   I find it hard to argue against her belief that my relationship is not a tangible thing but something  non committal and weak.  That makes me sad because I don't want my relationship to be seen that way and yet I am trying to come to terms with the idea that our physical distance and lack of combined responsibilities mean that it may always be seen as such and so I must accept my relationship for what it looks like and not what I want it to look like.

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